One Trip, One Love
By Rachel
As I got on the boat I said to my self “why dose mother and father have to go to England?”
My stupid brother can over to me and
said” because they have something about work.” He said. I walked away. As we got on the big ship” The Titanic” I sighed as we where going to be on here for a long time. We got on and then it felt like my heart just got lifted of a dusty shelf and played with by a little girl. This…this man I sputtered.
“what” said mother. Nothing. I glanced over again. He was standing over there greeting people one the ship. He was wearing his Snow-white and Navy-blue sailor suite.
When he greeted us I just said
“Hyia”. I felt so stupid!
That night when they did couples dance I looked around the deck for someone to dance with and the only person I saw was him. I started to walk over to him and then he ran to me and asked me to dance! Of course I said YES! We walked on the floor and stepped and stepped until we where in the beat. I learned new things when we where dancing like he was single ,a sailor, he is 18 ( like Me!),and his name is Edward.
“Since I’m an adult I can now date him.”
Over the course of a month I met with Edward .One night I was dancing on the star deck with him and then he got on his knees and held out a box. The music had stopped and I was about to cry. When he opened to box and all I saw was all these little He held out my hand and said
“Will you marry me?” My eyes burst into tears as I said yes. We looked at each other for a while and then I said
“Kiss me you fool!” As the crowd of people went wild I felt flowers fall on my head and screeches of joy.
There was only about two weeks left and I wanted to make it the best two weeks of our lives.
Edward and I where up until midnight dancing tonight. I’m in my room writing in my diary. It is about 1:30 AM. I am right by my journal listening to the radio. Father, mother and brother are at the grand staircase talking. My brother had met someone in first class too. He was his age, 10. There were racing cars down the railing. My brother is a boy scout so he is using his pinewood derby car to race. I have always wanted to be a boy scout ever since I was a little girl and now to see my brother be one, it is like torcher. I was going to go down to the grand staircase but sitting here is more fun than standing a room with a ton of adults and two stupid boys. As the radio started going off because it is so late. I turned it to another channel. Then the boat stopped, something happened.
“Crash!” I turned off the radio startled. I could hardly hear my anything over the screaming. As I rushed to the grand staircase, I could not see my parents but then I turned around and saw them running out. I followed them and caught up with them. As we got on deck, I looked up at where the wheel was and saw Edward. He was up, kicking the door and giving me signals that he would come down. As I signaled back, the captain had just said stop and he went to the door and WHAM! The door was open. Edward called to me. I wanted to fly to him and just dance. But then
“CRASH!” I heard again. The ship was going down. My ma and brother took my hand and we went on the boat and then my dad said he would catch up with us. We got on the boat and
“CRASH” again. The boat was in two. “My father…Edward,” I thought. What will happen to them? I kept my eye on my father on deck. He jumped off. I saw a ton of sailors jump off too. I hope Edward was one. A couple hours later, we were on the new boat. After the boats were done putting us on they went and got some people that jumped off four hours later the boats came back with only three boats filled and there was 15 boats. My mother told me to come in. But as I walked in, a breeze hit my neck. It’s my common sense, AGAIN! It said Edward wasn’t coming back. I turned around and saw nothing. My mother yelled at me again to get in. As I went in, the drenched sailors started walking on. I just kept on walking. I didn’t want to see the sailors. I didn’t.
That night I could not sleep. Edward was bellowing to me the whole night. Once I got to sleep, I had horrible dreams about Edward. I had a feeling it would come true. That morning we went and got breakfast at the nearby pier. As they were passing out the paper, I flipped the page as fast as I could to see who died. I got to the page. I I I…waaaaaa! Right smack dab in the middle was a picture of Edward. As I went through the 11 pages of people who had died, I thought “Why Edward, Why?” As the news was drilled into my head, I thought, “Will I ever find true love again?”
20 Years Later
“Hey Johnny…Alice…time for dinner!” Your dad and I made it. My new family is great but I still have a hole in my heart for Edward.
By Rachel
As I got on the boat I said to my self “why dose mother and father have to go to England?”
My stupid brother can over to me and
said” because they have something about work.” He said. I walked away. As we got on the big ship” The Titanic” I sighed as we where going to be on here for a long time. We got on and then it felt like my heart just got lifted of a dusty shelf and played with by a little girl. This…this man I sputtered.
“what” said mother. Nothing. I glanced over again. He was standing over there greeting people one the ship. He was wearing his Snow-white and Navy-blue sailor suite.
When he greeted us I just said
“Hyia”. I felt so stupid!
That night when they did couples dance I looked around the deck for someone to dance with and the only person I saw was him. I started to walk over to him and then he ran to me and asked me to dance! Of course I said YES! We walked on the floor and stepped and stepped until we where in the beat. I learned new things when we where dancing like he was single ,a sailor, he is 18 ( like Me!),and his name is Edward.
“Since I’m an adult I can now date him.”
Over the course of a month I met with Edward .One night I was dancing on the star deck with him and then he got on his knees and held out a box. The music had stopped and I was about to cry. When he opened to box and all I saw was all these little He held out my hand and said
“Will you marry me?” My eyes burst into tears as I said yes. We looked at each other for a while and then I said
“Kiss me you fool!” As the crowd of people went wild I felt flowers fall on my head and screeches of joy.
There was only about two weeks left and I wanted to make it the best two weeks of our lives.
Edward and I where up until midnight dancing tonight. I’m in my room writing in my diary. It is about 1:30 AM. I am right by my journal listening to the radio. Father, mother and brother are at the grand staircase talking. My brother had met someone in first class too. He was his age, 10. There were racing cars down the railing. My brother is a boy scout so he is using his pinewood derby car to race. I have always wanted to be a boy scout ever since I was a little girl and now to see my brother be one, it is like torcher. I was going to go down to the grand staircase but sitting here is more fun than standing a room with a ton of adults and two stupid boys. As the radio started going off because it is so late. I turned it to another channel. Then the boat stopped, something happened.
“Crash!” I turned off the radio startled. I could hardly hear my anything over the screaming. As I rushed to the grand staircase, I could not see my parents but then I turned around and saw them running out. I followed them and caught up with them. As we got on deck, I looked up at where the wheel was and saw Edward. He was up, kicking the door and giving me signals that he would come down. As I signaled back, the captain had just said stop and he went to the door and WHAM! The door was open. Edward called to me. I wanted to fly to him and just dance. But then
“CRASH!” I heard again. The ship was going down. My ma and brother took my hand and we went on the boat and then my dad said he would catch up with us. We got on the boat and
“CRASH” again. The boat was in two. “My father…Edward,” I thought. What will happen to them? I kept my eye on my father on deck. He jumped off. I saw a ton of sailors jump off too. I hope Edward was one. A couple hours later, we were on the new boat. After the boats were done putting us on they went and got some people that jumped off four hours later the boats came back with only three boats filled and there was 15 boats. My mother told me to come in. But as I walked in, a breeze hit my neck. It’s my common sense, AGAIN! It said Edward wasn’t coming back. I turned around and saw nothing. My mother yelled at me again to get in. As I went in, the drenched sailors started walking on. I just kept on walking. I didn’t want to see the sailors. I didn’t.
That night I could not sleep. Edward was bellowing to me the whole night. Once I got to sleep, I had horrible dreams about Edward. I had a feeling it would come true. That morning we went and got breakfast at the nearby pier. As they were passing out the paper, I flipped the page as fast as I could to see who died. I got to the page. I I I…waaaaaa! Right smack dab in the middle was a picture of Edward. As I went through the 11 pages of people who had died, I thought “Why Edward, Why?” As the news was drilled into my head, I thought, “Will I ever find true love again?”
20 Years Later
“Hey Johnny…Alice…time for dinner!” Your dad and I made it. My new family is great but I still have a hole in my heart for Edward.
T- I really liked the way you told the story like a journal and like it was happing right now I also enjoyed the way you made it a happy ending in the story and finally I enjoyed how you made it very real in the way Edward died.
ReplyDeleteA- A question I have is how did you get the idea for the story I thought it was very clever also where did you get some of the info like how they got on a different boat.
G- I think one thing you could improve on is developing the characters a little bit more you could have said what the brothers name was and what the girls name was and what the parents and boy and girl all looked like.
-Michael