The trip
by Erik
As Josh got home from baseball, he rushed to where his mom was sitting in the living room. He told his mom his great news. “I got two homeruns in the game and we won six to four!”
“Well, I have even more good news for you,” she said with a smile, “We’re going on a trip!” They were going to go on a trip for summer break to Puerto Rico.
Joshes hands got so sweaty. He didn’t want to go on the trip. He new the plane ride would be bad because he is scared of plane rides. He said to his mom “that will be fun” even though he was going to be scared of the plane ride.
When he woke up for days later he said to him self “NO! We are going on the trip today.”
When they got to the airport Alex Joshes brother pretty much had to drag him in. he kept asking why do we have to go on this trip. His mom had the same answer for him every time you will have fun once we get there. Josh still didn’t think he would have that much fun.
When they got to the gate they handed the man the tickets.
They got to there seats and they were right over the wing.
About ten min. later the plane started to move out of the gate and Josh started to get so scared.
When they got to the runway the plane started getting faster and faster until they got so fast they started to takeoff.
After they were in the air for about two hours he looked down and saw they were almost there and that’s when he herd the pilot say prepare for crash landing.
On the way down Josh and Alex were crying like crazy.
When they hit the water luckily nobody in there family got hurt.
When they got in the life bouts they saw that they were really close to Puerto Rico so a helicopter couldn’t come out so they started pedaling there.
When they got to the beach, the pilot told them that the plane fell because the left engine went out.
When they got to the hotel they were staying for five days and then they had to go home in a plane.
As Josh got home from baseball, he rushed to where his mom was sitting in the living room. He told his mom his great news. “I got two homeruns in the game and we won six to four!”
“Well, I have even more good news for you,” she said with a smile, “We’re going on a trip!” They were going to go on a trip for summer break to Puerto Rico.
Joshes hands got so sweaty. He didn’t want to go on the trip. He new the plane ride would be bad because he is scared of plane rides. He said to his mom “that will be fun” even though he was going to be scared of the plane ride.
When he woke up for days later he said to him self “NO! We are going on the trip today.”
When they got to the airport Alex Joshes brother pretty much had to drag him in. he kept asking why do we have to go on this trip. His mom had the same answer for him every time you will have fun once we get there. Josh still didn’t think he would have that much fun.
When they got to the gate they handed the man the tickets.
They got to there seats and they were right over the wing.
About ten min. later the plane started to move out of the gate and Josh started to get so scared.
When they got to the runway the plane started getting faster and faster until they got so fast they started to takeoff.
After they were in the air for about two hours he looked down and saw they were almost there and that’s when he herd the pilot say prepare for crash landing.
On the way down Josh and Alex were crying like crazy.
When they hit the water luckily nobody in there family got hurt.
When they got in the life bouts they saw that they were really close to Puerto Rico so a helicopter couldn’t come out so they started pedaling there.
When they got to the beach, the pilot told them that the plane fell because the left engine went out.
When they got to the hotel they were staying for five days and then they had to go home in a plane.
I liked how Josh was worried about the plane ride but everyone thought that it would be okay but they got in a crash but in the end everything turned out good.
ReplyDeleteWhy is Josh scared of going on planes, did he think that they would get in a crash?
Something you could do to make it even better is add more commas so when someone is reading it they pause a little so it doesn't go to fast in each sentence.
-May
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ReplyDeleteT= tell something u liked
A= ask a question
G= give a tip
T:i liked yur cliff hanger
A: what made u write about this?
G: i think it was great but next time you should try to show not tell!